Monday, August 3, 2009
Fantasy Feature No. 105
You wanted so badly to not have to pee on the side of the road. You were just driving along, avoiding bright orange construction cones that flew out in front of the car. Nothing has ever hit you like it hit you in Utah and the Spiral Jetty that was supposed to have been an hour off the road was two more hours on serious off roads that shook the contents of your insides. You forgot about your mosquito bites. You lost cell phone service. The cattle gates were bladder jabbies. Suddenly your orange thermos was empty and the ground was salty and deserty. How is it possible that no one pees on his own shoes? You couldn't do it to save your life, wind taken into account and all. The old man laughed at you. He told you to watch your laces. Toilets are such a waste with their lack of recycled gray water and all the flushing, but you have no desire to pee anywhere else. Have you lost touch with nature?